Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ's) for 2010

Why do I care about the H-----'s year in review?
You've looked forward to reading these letters for the past 22 years and there's no reason you shouldn't be afforded the same opportunity in 2010.

How long will the review document be?
It'll be one or two pages. They have so many interesting highlights to share, and you don't want to miss a thing.

What is that David up to these days?
David ran a marathon each month, was considered to replace Justice Souter on the Supreme Court, and installed a rheostat in the dining room chandelier. Everyone is pleased his oversight in turning off the breaker didn't result in electrocution. We're all so proud...

What did Andi get for her birthday this year?
You'll be pleased to know that a Kula cucumber, above-mentioned rheostat, conceded par putt and a gold chain made the list. Her desire for a baby sister, puppy and two carat diamond ring were put on the back burner for this year. Selfless to a fault...

What excitement did Limerick provide in 2010?
Limerick now knows 40 words, 25 in English and 15 in French. Additionally, she responds to commands in Russian and Farsi. She's also learned to sleep for 80% of each day without ill effect. Just amazing...

These are all great, but what about the really juicy stuff?
Andi recently signed a contract with Victoria's Secret to be their plus-size spokesperson. She also spoke at the World Health Conference held this year in Bali. David was busy signing autographs for being nominated for Rookie of the Year on the PGA Tour. Best of all, Limerick trained all the neighborhood dogs to sing the "Kibbles 'n Bits" jingle in three part harmony. Aren't they just incredible?

What are some of their goals for 2011?
David hopes to be fluent in Mandarin, both the spoken and written word, by October. This will be important for success in his second job as the US Ambassador to China, a post being vacated when Jon Huntsman retires in November. Andi looks forward to fulfilling her long-held dream of creating, and playing on, the new Senior LPGA tour. Limerick will be focusing her efforts on marketing organic, free- range, recyclable, sustainably grown dog food. These are simple goals but, given the Hayes's history of remarkable achievements, there's no doubt of success.

How can you get involved?
Be proud and demonstrate that pride by sending an accounting of your own achievements for 2010! The Hayes's promise not to hold yours up to theirs; it wouldn't be fair.

Ho Ho Ho...
David, Andi and Limerick H---

[Sent in by an Alert Reader in Half Moon Bay, California.]