Trying To Fit In

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For me, CVHS was painful a lot of the time. I was always trying to fit in. I wanted to be popular, not really understanding what that meant. I just knew how I thought it would feel. I was one that mixed in two crowds, the one on the field in back and the one on the quad. I was EXTREMELY boy crazy and judged myself against the girls who had great boyfriends. I also judged myself against the girls who wore great clothes. My family had little money and so our clothes were not always new. In fact, new clothes were a great gift at my house. My mother sewed and for me, at that time, it was an embarrassment.

Also, because I had a large scar on my right arm, I felt deformed. I have no triceps muscle and thus part of my arm is missing. I was always very, very self-conscious of that and thought that everyone judged me on that imperfection. Consequently, I used to wear a lot of long sleeved outfits. School academics were not difficult for me. I could get good grades without really trying. I imagine now that if I would have applied myself that I would have been a straight "A" student, which I was in college.

So, my memories are filled with always wanting to be someone other than who I was. It is funny to think back and realize that that is usually a feeling that a lot of kids have even, now-a-days. I guess I was normal given the times.

Maureen Rose

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This page updated: June 20, 2014